Russian Colonial Sickness and Decolonial Recovery: Revelations of Autotheoretical Practice

This autotheoretical essay explores self-decolonization as a personal, embodied process through the author's experience of displacement and chronic illness. Russia’s full-scale invasion of and ongoing genocide in Ukraine have drawn the world’s attention to the brutal history of Russian colonialism. The fact the author was largely unfamiliar with this history blew a hole in the foundation of her scholarly expertise and sense of self. Amid long months of sickness at the author's family home in the US, she sought to exorcize imperial myths from and find decolonial truths in her knowledge and family story. Learning from the lived experiences of Ukrainians and discussions with her father on Ukrainian identity was transformative, demonstrating the pedagogical power of listening to voices erased by colonialism.